Is the grass really greener?
Thida mentioned she's open to moving to London one day. That's made me think more about where we would want to live. This is a very personal topic, but that hasn't stopped me noting some general thoughts.
There's a bunch of reasons why people choose to live where they do. For most people people this doesn't actually feel like a choice; most people stick to the country they grew up in. Family, lack of opportunities, and fear of change (or comfort in the familiar) are all valid reasons to stay where you are.
For others, though, there's a lot of options out there. This is especially true for those who are young, unencumbered, or 'of means'. For them (read: me) it's never been easier to explore and experience living in different places. The world is more accessible than it may appear. I'm proof of that; I've been fortunate enough to live for an extended period in Melbourne, London, Toronto, the Welsh countryside, and now Austin, TX. While I've hopped around a lot, all my previous moves were time-bound. For my next move, I want to be more intentional. I'd like to stay in the next place for longer and feel settled.
Here's some of my thoughts on moving and what influences the decision:
Money money money
- Financial fear keeps people where they are. This mostly applies to people in high-income countries like US. Many people can't imagine leaving the security of making (significantly) less money. Even if that means living a decade less with a lower quality of life.
- Having more money in the US allows you buy your way to a higher standard of living. People can afford larger homes, better healthcare, cutting edge technology. On the other side of this, public infrastructure is a lot worse than elsewhere, and can vary wildly state-by-state.
- The size of the economy plays a big factor. So much of the world's wealth is concentrated in the US, the numbers are just bigger. It's hard to imagine taking a 40-60% hit on income by moving to Europe.
Schrödinger's grass
- The grass is, in fact, greener. But it's also yellower, and barren, and on fire - all at the same time.
- 'Liveability' research papers would lead you to believe Switzerland, New Zealand and Canada are all forms of paradise. Residents are rightfully proud of their strong social safety nets, low crime rates, access to public healthcare, good transportation networks.
- Of course, these places are mired with their own issues. Other, less enchanted, residents use high costs of living, difficulty to assimilate, and poorly run government as reasons to leave.
- This pattern applies to any place. It's why personal circumstances are so important to consider when deciding where to live. Access to free world-class museums or a great train network can't make up for poor job prospects or inability to speak the local language.
It's trade-offs, all the way down
- This one is obvious, but moving somewhere else means leaving where you are. While you might leave a place to be rid of its pitfalls, you'll give up its benefits. It's important to understand both sides of that trade. People give up meaningful things, like proximity to family, a promising career, or access to a local community.
- When you give up things that have defined your identity, the replacement has high expectations. For some, anything short of life changing can be disappointing. I found reading the experience for those who regret their decision insightful. Outside of big unexpected life changes (e.g. breakups, divorce, death), people who weren't happy with their move appeared to not be fully ready to make the change. Moving to the UK, for example, short winter days, a constant grey, and paltry salaries were all things that caught expats off guard.
- Thorough research appears to be a big factor in being happy with, or at least not blindsided by, your choice. You need to be just as comfortable with what you're giving up as what you're hoping to gain. The best way to do this is to experience areas at their worst. For moving to the UK, that might mean enduring a cold and dark January.
There's so many factors that play into this decision. As I mentioned up at the top, it's such a personal. After this, I'm going to brainstorm pros and cons of staying in the US vs moving to the UK.
Stay tuned to see where we end up!